so bored of advertising so i’m basically taking an extended break.. reading this pile of books from the library and abusing my friend’s internet limit. plus my wisdom tooth is killing me and i’m just reduced to nibbling on chips while putting up with the throbbing pain.

i got to see my mom for a short while today when my dad called using 3G and i could see her on my phone. she got hospitalised a few days ago for acute appendicitis and is thankfully getting discharged tonight. all i could think of was that i really wanted to be there for her, but i can’t. my brother too, was hospitalised twice in the last few months for asthma and some swelling in his leg.

i feel kinda shitty knowing that my family is back in sg and i’m unable to be there for them cos i’m down here. and i feel even more shitty when i have plans to live in some other country aside from sg for at least the next 5 years or something.

it’s not that i don’t like my country, i love it. but being away from home makes me feel sort of independent, and i know that i won’t be contented pursuing my career in that small island where there is hardly what we call a media industry. i don’t want to regret not travelling while i’m still young, not seeing the world, not getting out of my comfort zone to try and survive somewhere else. i want to be with my family and friends back in sg more than anything, but i feel like i can’t stay in that country.

i don’t know how to explain this to my dad. he’s so against the whole idea of me staying abroad, and i can hear it in his tone that he misses me and wants me home more than anything. my mom is open to whatever decisions i make, but i guess i really have to have a good talk with my dad about this.

i guess i have time to think of a good speech when i go back end of this month.

looking forward to returning home for 3 weeks at the end of june. i’ve got some stuff to settle back home. and i really need to have a good talk with my dad about my plans after graduating. although i’m kinda apprehensive because my dad’s plans are just for me to come home after graduating. there’s two considerations, one is to take a masters and the other to move to the east side and find a job.

well, just gonna think of how to talk to him when i get back.

on the rooftop at the 8th floor of blk 53, wayne blabbering on about ‘emotions’,  the smell of the chemicals, the stains on my mango jeans, the radio turned on to gold 90fm, nards and lara singing, linus being linus, addy sitting outside with his laptop doing print journ stuff, prata dinners after…

gosh i miss the dark room.

it’s mid-sem break already and everyone’s out somewhere having fun but i’m stuck at home trying to write an essay that’s due on monday. so screwed. been having less than 5 hours of sleep every night these few days and i’m simply too tired to think anymore. why do all my essays require so much thinking? damn.

then again, it’s no loss to me not going out on a friday night, since all you can do at night here is clubbing.

eh. so that solves this  confusion i’ve had for the last 6 weeks as to why somehow, she remembered my name so well compared to the others in class. i even thought up for a couple of reasons (her daughter/niece/lesbian lover/someone close had the same name; i was the only asian in class; i just have a kiam pah face; my name was last on the list; she likes/hates me even though i didn’t do anything in her class except look sleepy cos it’s 8am for goodness sake..) but i finally found out the reason today.

wah lau now i’m like pressured to do a better job at my essay (it was almost complete already but now i have to look at it again :/) cos that lecturer’s gonna remember that bloody media law essay i wrote when she reads my next essay. nabei. and it’s not like i got that high grades for it. rapper dude lecturer gave me 81% in the end.

wanted to buy this book but it cost like 70 bucks in sg but now i found it on amazon and my friend decided to order it with his credit card cos he needs one for school and it’s so expensive here. so yayyy!

so he thought, hey since we’re paying for shipping and everything, we’ll just order more books. for a start, i’ve got a small list here -

i need to stop buying useless stuff and/or find a better job :/

despite all my resolve this semester to not do last minute work, here i am on a monday evening, half-heartedly doing a 2000 word essay about media ethics quoting aristotle, kant and what not, to be handed in on friday at 4pm, along with an advertising mid-term test i have not studied for at all. and not to mention that other 2500 word essay on consumption due next monday which i have not started.

die, die, dieeeeeeeee

i mean the procrastinator. i will survive this! even if it means surviving on little sleep, coffee tea, and mee goreng.

it started as a normal monday. woke up early for 8am class, got caught in a passing shower on the way home. my friend called me up and came over while i cooked lunch. that’s when the series of extreme carelessness started.

chopped my finger along with the onions (no no, still have my finger, just bruised), cut myself on something (not sure what was it..), got my other finger caught in some part of my new bicycle and a piece of skin came off, then went cycling and fell flat on a pile of twigs and small branches. now i have ugly red scratches covering the top of my left boob, and a few small scratches on the left side of my face. hiyah so pain

i think i should play safe and eat indo mee for dinner for fear of getting burnt or worse, burning down my hostel.