it’s sunday night and i’m in the school labs studying advertising. ate two small bags of chips, half a snicker bar, one packet of malteses, one sausage and a little big m strawberry milk. urgh, studying is unhealthy.
so bored of advertising so i’m basically taking an extended break.. reading this pile of books from the library and abusing my friend’s internet limit. plus my wisdom tooth is killing me and i’m just reduced to nibbling on chips while putting up with the throbbing pain.
i got to see my mom for a short while today when my dad called using 3G and i could see her on my phone. she got hospitalised a few days ago for acute appendicitis and is thankfully getting discharged tonight. all i could think of was that i really wanted to be there for her, but i can’t. my brother too, was hospitalised twice in the last few months for asthma and some swelling in his leg.
i feel kinda shitty knowing that my family is back in sg and i’m unable to be there for them cos i’m down here. and i feel even more shitty when i have plans to live in some other country aside from sg for at least the next 5 years or something.
it’s not that i don’t like my country, i love it. but being away from home makes me feel sort of independent, and i know that i won’t be contented pursuing my career in that small island where there is hardly what we call a media industry. i don’t want to regret not travelling while i’m still young, not seeing the world, not getting out of my comfort zone to try and survive somewhere else. i want to be with my family and friends back in sg more than anything, but i feel like i can’t stay in that country.
i don’t know how to explain this to my dad. he’s so against the whole idea of me staying abroad, and i can hear it in his tone that he misses me and wants me home more than anything. my mom is open to whatever decisions i make, but i guess i really have to have a good talk with my dad about this.
i guess i have time to think of a good speech when i go back end of this month.
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